pocket. >> thanks for watching everybody. everybody. welcome to "red eye." ifis like i dream of genie by gene me you mean a time when a grown man can wear a skirt in public because it hugs his hips better than jeans. until then let's welcome our wel guests. she is so sweet that sugargar sprinkles her on its cereal. seems strange to me, but what m, else is new? i am here with dana perino, theth former white house press or so she claims, and one of my many co-hosts on "the five." and filling in for andy levy is henreick van beckenbower. he cannotem remember anything before 1987 and so we are limiting our stories to after

1987 and between 1992. raves. my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. awe look. and if hilarity was an air horn hundreds of people would blow him at a soccer game. sitting next to me is a comedian, andrew schulz, family member of bill schulz, yikes. >> the lede. that's the first story. ps, i'm sorry. >> that's nice. you are related to bill? >> i am. cousins. >> i'm sorry. >> we can tell you more about it. >> i don't want to hear anything. i want to go to the next story, it is just sad. sad news out of pennsylvania, an actual state, thanks to the government shutdown a planned ku klux klan rally has been halted. don't like the shirt i'm wearing. the rally was set to take place this saturday at gettysburg national military park, but officials had to

tell the sheet freaks the shutdown meant all special events were canceled. that's the first story in our coverage of -- >> shutdown [bleep]. >> i found this shirt in the green room because the other one had make up on it. >> it is klan white. >> it really is. >> president obama, aka, the american hating crypto kenyan has moved to shutdown all of the parks including the one named after claude moore. the living history museum sits on federal land, but it costs the government no money. boy it looks pretty. as the washington free beacon reported, they sent law enforcement out there on tuesday to send everyone home. that's right. they spent money sending officers to shutdown a park that costs no money. and finally routers, my german masseuse, obtained documents that show during the shutdown the epa will be operating with

less than 7% of the staff. the reason, the agency is classifying 93% of the personnel as nonessential. you know who is taking this government shutdown in stride? ♪ >> you know, if paul mecurio was on the set he woulds make a joke about a pussy, but he is not. >> the shutdown can't be that bad if he causes a clan to be -- the klan to get canceled. >> unfortunately i will not be able to make those this weekend. >> the shirt is attractive. >> it is like a robe. >> i read this article and i felt i was suckered into it. i was reading, reading,

reading. it is a good excuse to say the government is shutdown. and then you get down and it says local klan big wheel says nine people were going to attend. there is a whole article. and leading the a block is this story. >> every klan rally is about under 10 people, and it is the same 10 people. the fact they wear hoods you never know how many there are. you can say there are 10 here and 10 there, but it is the same 10. they have a lot of frequent flier miles. >> the traveling circus. >> in the green room you were upset. did you have a no refund car rental? >> yes, and i had bleach to stain the grass -- to clean the grass stains off of my robe. >> why were you playing baseball? >> we have fun. there are 9 of us. >> that's beautiful. do you think this is -- this makes the shutdown worth it? >> yes.

yes, i do. is that right? i am saying it with confidence. >> no need to follow-up on that. you say something stroppingly and i don't have to say why. >> is spending money on law enforcement to shut the park that costs no money to run, is that a perfect example of government stupidity? >> it really sgreg. very -- it really is, greg. i like that the managing director whose name is anna everley she said, quote, in all of the years i worked at the national park service i never worked with a more vindictive group representing the national park service. that pretty much sums up the government these days, doesn't it? >> you say these days. you want to join that rally? >> i think you are reading that is ku klux klan pamphlets too closely. >> i think you may have

skipped some paragraphs. nothing, nothing, nothing. go and have fun. >> cane just say if robin bird were alive none of this would have happened. >> that's exactly true. there are a lot of vindictiveness in the government and focusing on certain things, not the kkk, but other things that i happen to like. like parks. usually at night. bill, there is nobody who is more of a nonessential personnel than you. there is no question in that, but i think you could figure out an answer that won't completely embarrass you. >> i can coax an answer out of that nonquestion. i have had some practice. >> i look at all of the nonessential ninny's in the bough -- bohemouth, and i think to myself, of course it was started by some sort of liberal socialist, maxist pig like richard nixon. >> oh mind blown! we all know that.

>> i don't think we do. >> it is not like he is a free market conservative. >> he is a p nie ko environmentalist and i am glad he is gone. >> the thing about saying that 93% of the employees are nonessential, i think -- you know when the obama administration is accused of doing things that would hurt people they thought the epa was closed down. and the national park service, the police officers have had nothing to do for a really longtime. when we lived in dc, he got a ticket for walking the dog off the leash at linkin park and he ended up going to operation clean slate and spent an entire day in jail including with leg irons. >> are you sure this is a jail? >> it is kind of weird he did it 12 nights in a row. >> and with richard quest or

whatever his name is. >> i knew you would bring your dog into this. he was actually arrested and put in leg irons. >> he got arrest -- he got a ticket -- he had been a citizen for like four days. he got a ticket for walking the dog off the leash. the ticket is incompetent. it has an address if you send a ticket to them they say you can't accept the check. i said you need to track it down and find out where the clark of the court is. he says oh no i will have my day in court. what he didn't know was that in america your day in court in dc comes with a day in jail. he spent an entire day on operation clean slate, four cells including the balogna sand witches and the lemonade and got out at 4:40 p.m. right before they shut the doors for the night. >> wow, that is so -- >> if you want a free meal. >> it was rented. >> for not walking your dog or walking your dog without a leash. the kkk can take a lesson for

this. why couldn't it be a white jump suit? >> they are more form fitting. >> they are doing all of this stupid shutdown theater. they said the navy and football game canceled. it is funded by a private organization called the naval association. they will lose about $4 million for this game being canceled. >> that's crazy. from budgets to bugs, service was as spotty as n on -- as an out of order potty. many americans were met with an error message while others died. it is true. on the first day of obamacare, 150,000 people perished. to be fair, that's how many people die anyway. millions logged on to get insurance under obamacare, but

they were mess with computer problems. they encountered glitches in the system leading to wasted time or worse. in tennessee a man attempted to log on at work and this happened. >> meanwhile in ohio a woman tried to access health care .gov while on her commuter train. >> obama. and here is what happened in new york city when more than four people tried to log on to the government's website at the same time.

>> i'm here to tell you that harvey voted for obama. >> all in all, obamacare is hazardous to your health. dana i remember your first day at fox news. it was full of glitches and embarassment. >> i thought you were going to rhyme that with something. i think we are making too much about the glitches. glitches can actually be fixed. they will figure out the software eventually. there was a private company and they would have done it better. this is the government and this is what you get. i am more concerned about the fund mental change. here we go. it is the first day of the end of your country. >> wow. that's a bigger issue than glitches. i thought you were being positive. i thought you were going to say, i don't care about the glitches, but we will die. andrew, you probably have no insurance and are riddled with sexually transmitted diseases. >> i cannot say that is true. put it this way. i have never had an std and i

have never had an std test. that's my obamacare. >> have you ever had insurance? >> i have had insurance and now i don't. >> are you going to sign up? >> for obamacare? yes. i think i will do it. i think i will go to health care .gov. >> did you see to those people who tried to sign up? >> i am not going to sign up. i will wait for the next one. clinton care. >> why can't people like me just start my own exchange? like gutfeld health exchange. i just take on a few people. >> i just want your op tau cal care. >> these are delightful. >> the thing is we only accept healthy, young men. >> what i get is actually i get get -- i do the physicals -- myself. oftentimes at a local hotel in your neighborhood. >> you can write off the latex gloves that way. >> prescriptions are split.

>> he wears those glasses to hogwarts. >> and it was so slugish not a single person enrolled in the plan in some areas. that's not a lot of people. that's 0. >> that's not a lot of people. i'm with dana, glitches be happening. what are you going to do? >> i don't like the fact they compare the glitches to like oh you have to give us a chance like apple. the thing is sphru a technical problem with apple, you have a technique problem with apple. if you have a problem with obamacare you can be fined by your government. if you will have a system in place that will sign you they should have a system in place that allows you to sign up. >> i think that makes perfect sense. on tuesday the president spoke in the rose garden and he wants every american to have health insurance. exyou, bill schulz, i don't care whether you live or die. actually i hope you die and then he says you stupid

[bleep] >> if indeed this was said i would have hoped we had some tape. i would have liked to have seen this. >> the tape was too expensive. >> what was the question? >> there was none. >> one of the quotes they did, i couldn't tell if this was where obamacare was good or bad. high said obviously three hours is a longtime to wait and i agree. but it will save me $6,000 and for that i would wait all day. that sums it up in a nutshell. the longer this goes on and we realize it is not going to a world ender, we will end up talking about something else and i can watch bob beckel not get apocalyptic on "the five." >> that's the good part of the show. >> obamacare can't help him at this point. >> here is the thing.

did you ever live in england? >> no. i am not even aware it exists. >> i lived there for awhile. the national health service is just terrible. it is like trying to run a marathon with lead weights on your ankles and it has held back the country and helped lead to the destruction of the industrial military complex in the western civilization. so america has to become the world's policemen and we are even taking a pass on that. we are like the national park policemen giving tickets to people because we walk a dog off a leash. >> we are the world's referees. >> but if you don't have health care you can't run the marathon. you know why? you will be dead. >> have they thought about checking with obamacare? you drink an astounding amount of water. >> i know. i have an astoundingly small bladder. we are in the a block. i don't want to be reminded about this until at least the end of the show. hold on. too late. thanks, dana. >> i had a good point to make too. the point you are making is as the social system grows you

have less money to protect yourself as a great country. and that is what could happen. also the fact that -- we are living in london and when i got there i looked into the nss. i got there and they said don't worry about it because you won't be on it. >> you you will be on private health insurance. your employer will give you private health insurance and all of those other people can be on the national health system. >> maybe that's what this is. >> i think that's where we are going. >> that's what it is. as long as you don't need. it you are never going to need it and it is for everybody else. it is like you use federal express and not the postal service. do i have time for the harry reid thought? >> if you can have one child -- >> listen, listen. why would we want to do that? i have 1100 people at nellis air force base that are sitting home. they have a few problems of their own.

>> okay, dana, was he just frustrated? >> he is just talking and it is just words. it is not even a sentence. he said this obamacare thing as if he does president even know what this is about. he plays dumb sometimes and he is not. he is extremely shaw -- shrewd. the congress has become dysfunctional since 2006 when they took over. the hope is you would have maturity and common sense and a way to work together. after this quote came out, you could watch reid and pelosi and think no wonder america has a record low amount of confidence in the government. >> are you claiming congress was functional before 2006? >> more so than now. >> are you going to sit here with a straight face, dana and say that the american people -- >> yes, i am. >> we have to take a break. i have to go yell at a producer. coming up, carjacking,

hit-and-run, vehicular homicide. dana perino on her new book, things i like to do to unwind. first, a website that filters out ug looly people -- ugly people? yes it is called life.

it lets you dump anyone plump. the dating site allows users to pay to filter out overweight and unattractive people. a-list members, i use those paying a monthly fee to hide anyone who labels themselves curvy and skinny and jacked. they could filter potential dates as ranked by other

users. as a journalist notes, the search options are eyebrow raising in the era of tolerance and political correctness. oh like you date only ugly people. speaking of bigots. >> don't worry. the bear does eventually eat the cat. we were all wondering that. dana, you know, i understand that discrimination is wrong. after many, many decades of denying it, is there anything wrong -- >> look at the shirt. >> how can there be anything wrong with discriminating based on appearance when you are dating the person? >> why would you even pay for that service when you could just do it in your computer search and replace?

like if somebody described themselves as short then you might not want a short person in your life. i don't know who that would be. >> well, you know, you being so incredibly tall i can understand why. >> i love how they do the whole table shot to get perspective. >> when i first read this story i thought there were people judging whether you would be able to go through or not. >> dana, it was a slow news day. >> an -- an true, if people will pay to play on-line why should you waste your time with choices that you report interested in? and why should people waste their time looking at pictures of you? >> that's true. do you look at pictures of me? i don't even know what to say. i am blushing, but you can't see it under the make up. honestly i thought the most interesting part of the article is one of the descriptions that you can i guess classify people as and

it was used up. that alone makes me want to join. i feel like everyone there, they will sleep with me. they are not saying no. >> wonder how long it takes to get used up. >> ask lyndsay lohan. >> about 2004. >> it depends on how many other people are involved. >> now that you are talking, what is point of going on a dating website if they are describing themselves accurately? >> you mean if they are not? >> i don't even know what i asked. >> i am just going to do the thing where you ignore the question. we should just stop talking about it. >> somebody left a comment saying they didn't like this. they said ultimately what freaks me out the most is the kind of person that would pay

to exercise that degree of control over their result. it freaks you out that a person wants to exercise a high degree of control over who they want to date? i don't get that. the fact is this is not just for screening out ugly people. people are attracted to certain types. >> i know what you are about to say. you don't like dating people of other races. >> absolutely. >> i wasn't going to say that, but now that the elephant is in the room. >> the white elephant. >> hopefully. and some people aren't attracted to -- some guys are not attracted to skinny girls and some girls are not attracted to fat guys. you save yourself the time and effort by picking the kind you want. for people who don't care they don't check the boxes. >> i like how politically correct you are. there are some guys that don't like skinny girls. there are none. >> i know plenty of guys that don't like skinny girls.

>> there is a reason. >> there are guys who only want to date curvey girls. >> there is a phrase for that. >> kanye west. >> bill, you have never been on a date and nor do you know what the internet is. do you want me to skip you and go to the next story? >> i used the internet to find me some stats. i never understood on-line dating. i have been to many weddings from the result of on-line dating. i did look up how many people there are single in the united states. it is 54 million. that's according to roiters. guess how many have used on-line dating? 40 million. that's almost half. that makes me want to invest in on-line dating. 40 million people on lean dating. on-line dater. >> here is the thing, you got that information from routers, my masseuse who i met on-line

and he lies about everything including the fact he was a masseuse and he was not at all. by the way, what if you prefer one race or another when you date. is that racist? >> yes. >> if you are white. from you white it is racist. anybody else it is okay. but all of us, we don't see color. >> japanese it is just being jp niece. >> but nobody can tell you you have to be tolerant when you are dating. that is based on your personal preference. somebody can't say oh wegoing tr you. you need a woman of this wait. maybe it is a guy. you should be dating a guy. the fact you like women it is intolerant. you should be dating men as well and perhaps a sequential hemaphrodite. >> i am not allowed to be on ok could you -- cupid. you can find me on no way peg success.

pegasus. >> he is talking about age, people. >> coming up, how can you strangle a baby panda with a shoelace? we discuss the new self-help book and their screams give me life. but first, what is paris up to now? about six men a day, but who is counting?

it is cheesy meets weezy.

paris hilton is back and she and her herpes have a a new track. jk, she doesn't have herpes. the former whatever teamed up with lil wayne on a tune called good times. guess what, it is about good times. she likes having them and so do i. here comes a present for your ears, america. >> ♪ having a good time. ♪ cousin i'm having a good -- cuz i'm having a good time ♪ ♪ and i would be a bit tipsy ♪ ♪ that's okay cuz you're with me ♪ >> i'm [bleep] upped. i don't know what is what. i walked up to her big butt and ask her butt say what? >> that made me vomit in my mouth. we will discuss this in something better. >> lightning rooooooouuuuunnnnndd.

lightning round. >> i actually find that funny. >> i love it. i love it. >> it is lightning round, but it is really long. >> that's so funny. >> that's hilarious. this tv show you guys are doing, this is great. >> we are not really a tv show. >> it is a joy to watch you enjoy it because dana was swearing under her breath. >> by the way, this is not even being filmed. it is done for the joy of us. this is not even on the air. >> it is a pod cost. -- a pod cast. >> dana, paris hilton has hit her stride as an untalented strump bucket. >> she can't rhyme, tipsy and with me? you couldn't think of something better? you would think you are working with lil wayne and you could figure that out. i'm sure her parents are very proud. very, very proud. >> andrew, are you a guy. does it matter what is coming

out of her mouth? >> no, it doesn't. you know what is funny? i heard this song on my pandora station, used up. i love it. i think it is a hit. it is surprising to see things coming out of her mouth. it is surprising to see. >> i think it is progress. i think it is progress that that's the nature of whatever she is doing. her voice sounds like a robot squirrel show. squirrel though. since when did it become okay not to sound like whrow and to sound like a robot squirrel? >> even with auto tune her voice sounds awful. you have to be really bad if your voice sounds that awful with auto tune. are you talking lil wayne? >> yes. >> as a rap scholar i don't know if you know this, but lil wayne is straight trippin. that is what is going on. i don't know if you knew that. >> what does that mean?

>> we will talk afterwards. >> everyone involved in this song should be in prison. >> i would even say gitmo. i would say gitmo and a little water boarding. might be in order. although, i don't know. it is growing on me. the song is now stuck in my head. you also made a night vision sex tape with some dude that nobody remembers. do you plan to released a single? >> i have not made a night vision sex tape with some dude. >> anyways, you know how hollywood has been rebooting movie after movie after movie? and then they reboot it again. why can't we just reboot paris hilton? she starts a new and she makes

makes -- she does the reality show which is more like what kardashian did. it would be a better paris and then maybe she would do a song with lil wayne where she accidentally listens to the lyric. she did not know what lil wayne was saying. lil wayne was talking about things that she should have checked. >> i think that's exactly what she wanted. >> you are both super heros and a new sex tape. kim kardashian and paris hilton, but instead of paris hilton, ben affleck. >> i see where are you going with that. >> we laugh and we laugh at her, but she is going have the last laugh because when she is dying she will be laughing because she is too stupid to know she is dying and she will keep laughing. >> she will have the last laugh. >> skinny, rich and blonde.

>> is a related ad all that bad? well, federal court has ruled an illegal wiretapping lawsuit may proceed against tabooing gel which i -- against google which is known for its pictures of poverty. anyway, the suit claims the company's practice of scanning e e -- e-mails and showing the content of the e-mails violates state and federal wiretapping laws. the suit could get certified as a class action lawsuit. the fines could be huge like a thousand dollars or 2,000. a lot of money. dana, do ads that cater to your perverse needs cater to what is on there? >> i don't know the g mail as they call it, but i like it in the company of dogs. they send me e-mails and it is a little too often for the cut back. once a week would be plenty. >> you are telling somebody to stop sending you dog

information and maybe cut it back a little bit? >> once a week. i don't need three times a week. >> somebody is sending out dog information every day and it can get tire so many. tiresome. >> what is more annoying is i had e-mails having to do with dog collars. i don't have a tog. i don't have a dog. >> that happened to me and i get a lot of restraints and then ads for maury straipts. more restraints. >> do you care if g mail scans your e-mail? you may get nice coupons. >> i don't. i don't care if anybody listens to my phone calls. i am trying to care because it is like get out of my privacy. eve time i go i say just read -- every time i go i say just read it. >> if anybody taped into my e-mail they say they would be

disappointed. >> the box you share is with hobo carl. but is it cigarettes and animal feces? >> i was waiting for another one. it is supposed to be three. i love this guy from the electronic and privacy information center and he said it has been a bad month for google. it doesn't matter. people will continue to use google as often as they do. it doesn't matter what they do to you. google has us. i will not type in paris hilton and nude on ask jeeves. it is always going to be google. >> besides, he said it has been a bad month for google and their profits are soaring. >> a lot of the profits comes from ads which they are able to target. by allowing the suit to go forward if the court rules that google can't do that anymore their profits are going to go down.

>> and you slightly plugged target so you are part of the problem. >> i will now get ads about target. >> where do you stand? you are the mr. libertarian. >> my feeling is if you noah head of time that google is doing this, if you are a g mail user they tell you you will do that. the problem is -- and this is where they make it into trouble. if you do -- >> if i e-mail your g mail account you will look at mine? >> or like bob beckel uses earth link. >> yes. if you e-mail somebody who uses g mail, g mail is scanning your e-mail. >> but just the e-mail i sent to that person. >> or any e-mails. they may run into problems. >> you know who benefits? my website g-mail. >> for people who don't spell. >> i am not picky and not a racist. >> you have to check do not

have to spell. i say not being able to spell is a plus. >> and speaking, no speaking. >> it is part of my whole dating profile. >> time to take a break. when we come back we have a lot more stuff. "joy of hate" have you bought this yet? i get angry. amazon.com autographed copy. they are there now. they are there now. just signed a whole bunch. huh, fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. everybody knows that. well, did you know that when a tree falls in the forest and no one's around, it does make a sound? ohhh...ohhh...oh boy! i'm falling. everybody look out! ahhhhh...ugh. little help here. geico. fifteen minutes could save you...well, you know. anybody?

and now he is going after yore feelings. your feelings. mayor bloomburg has introduced a new health drive to help girls. age 7 to 12 with self-esteem. on tuesday a day of the week ads were posted on buses and subways featuring beaming nonprofessional models under the headline "i'm a girl. i'm beautiful the way i am." i used to wake up in the morning and say that. along with adjectives with

caring, curious and creative. after school programs will soon follow. as new york magazine points out, quote, there is something slightly contradictory about the message. don't worry how you look. you look beautiful. i would agree if i knew what contradictory meant. those people at new york magazine, what a bunch of jerks. are you psyched your tax dollars are paying for this? >> yes, especially when i walk through every day with a bike rental gang people there that scare the you know what out of me. i do think girls suffer from self-esteem, but i worry about 10 to 15 and 20 years from now that the little boys pretty much ignored in society what about them? what about dealing with their self-esteem problems in the chat rooms. >> did you self-esteem growing up? >> sure, of course. every kid did. i would say my dad, woulded hard . he had two daughters. he would explain to us -- i grew up in wyoming.

it was different. he would tell us you can do anything you want to do. maybe every day says that to their kid, but growing up you say i am not tall enough or pretty enough, i don't have cute red glasses, my shirt is too big and things like that. >> it was tough for you because he liked your sister a lot better. >> who does president? >> it is funny because even though are you more famous to your sister they refer to her as the bread winner and the one that makes them happy. >> the responsible one. >> everyone wants to be around angie. angie has cats and not dogs. >> andrew, most site you as the reason women have terrible self-esteem. >> i don't know why they would say that. i have a girlfriend right now so honestly i am all about women having self-esteem. >> oh mr. i have a girl friend right now. >> now that i am in a relationship i believe in women having self-esteem. >> all right, we get it.

>> when a comedian gets a girlfriend it is a big deal. the point is if i was single i would hope they didn't have self-esteem because it is easier to sleep with them. now that i am in a relationship, believe in yourself. >> but not enough where you think you can do better. >> that's true. just think you are pretty. don't think you are smart. >> not even pretty. cute. pallettable. not adorable. >> you do a lot of, well, i think you are pretty and that's all that matters. >> baby, don't care about what everybody else says and pinch her cheek. >> i happen to think this is a wonderful thing to provide balance to this horrible show. where is your ad campaign since you have an awful body image of yourself? >> i have an accurate body image.

it is something i have to not sleep about every day. >> here we go. andy, you are beautiful and you know. >> there is no doubt that a lot of girls have an unhealthy body image because of pressure. and not just young girls. women do and to a certain extent men. you don't have to look like a supermodel. the only -- the downside of this is it is the whole you are perfect the way you are culture which is not all that great. guess what, there are health risks. if you are super over wait you have health risks and sometimes you are not perfect the way are you and you need to be told that so you can adjust. >> you can't just say you are beautiful as you are to a person who is a hundred pounds overweight. you are basically putting them on emotional welfare and they won't get off. >> are you kidding me? would you tell somebody who is overweight you are beautiful the way you are? for the first two years of

this show i got e-mails from people telling me how fat i was and that got me to lose weight. i lost 40 pounds. if you were dana you would say you look fine fat greg. fat greg you don't need to lose weight. people at home said you should lose some weight you sweaty, fat, weird owe. >> didn't you see my website got fat .org? it was you, you, you. >> bill, your self-esteem is terrible and rightfully so. >> no inflection. >> expru 30 seconds. >> yeah, eve time i go to hobo carl growing up i would be like am i pretty? he would hit me upside my face with a two by four. i know it sounds worse than wyoming. i wish i could go to wyoming. well, we are going to take a break and then we have another story coming up. stick around. yes, stick around.

>> coming up tomorrow we have first time guest deborah bloom and eric metcalf. >> e block. last story. that's the last story.

>> nobody was talking to me. her son ronin -- ronin's dad might not be woody allen after all. after all, the father may be frank sinatra's. when they asked if old blue eye's could be ronin's father she said possibly. ronin who broke off all contact with allen after the creepy film maker was banging his adopted daughter seems to be handling his mom's revelation with good humor tweeting, listen, we are all possibly frank sinatra's son. interesting. dana, apparently there has never been a paternity test. wouldn't that be exciting? >> i don't care. >> you can't do an i don't care. >> i don't understand the over sharing. i don't understand "vanity

fair" ? does anybody care? >> guests on "red eye" are not supposed to care about stories no matter how stupid they are. >> about mia farrow? >> very much into this. >> if you could choose a new dad who would it be? and don't say bob crane because that is mine and he is dead. >> honestly i think frank sinatra would be great. i don't even know if that is possible. this is the best news for the whole talk about hey your dad is not really your dad. >> most of the stories go with your dad and it is javier the gardener. frank sinatra is a pretty good upside. >> it is a huge upgrade. it is not a pedophile?

it is great, it is awesome. >> i think she did this to get back at woody. she is saying this pregnancy happened afterwards. >> i also think there hasn't been a paternity test. she knows it is frank sinatra and ronin knows it is frank sinatra. look at those baby blue eyes. those are frank sinatra's eyes. he knows sinatra is his dad and he is happy as hell about it. >> do you think woody allen cares? >> he is too busy having sex with his stepdaughter. >> this is good news because if frank is really the dad then woody allen can have sex with ronin. think about it. do the math. it is totally legal. >> it is sad news for ronin then. >> i don't know what he is into. greg, he can have -- woody

allen can have him and it is fine. it is fine. open your eyes. >> i guess so. thanks, dana, andrew, andy, bill. i'm greg gutfeld and that does it for me.

>> bill: the o'reilly factor is on. tonight. >> 34-year-old miriam carrie hit by gunfire and died from her wounds. >> bill: once again mindless violence harming the reputation of america. there is a reason why all of this is happening. we will tell you what the reason is tonight. >> this is harry reid's shutdown because he want a shutdown. >> bill: we will talk with a senator who was at the capital hill meeting. >> really waiting for killing o'reilly? when is that coming out? >> bill: also, the pinheads of the week, some very interesting choices tonight.